Stages

Screenshot_20190722_163001_com.instagram.android_mh1563784227325
A butterfly does not return to a caterpillar after it is mature.

However, life comes in stages.
We all have different ages.
We do what we do because of our ages.
Knowingly or unknowingly,
we act because of where we have reached in life.

Although it seemed to be the young man who showed honour and obedience to the old man, to authority and dignity;
now again it was apparently the old man who was required to follow, serve, worship the figure of youth, of beginning, of mirth.

They played games.
The young and the old.
They are having fun on a stage where no actor can act.
They need a clown, so they could enjoy the applause of the crowd; which could feeds their egos, soothed their souls, and justified their filthy minds.

Is it true, that ‘kindness and cruelty’ and ‘mercy and justice’ all have secret affairs, as though they rendezvous only within certain sophisticated souls: those who hate being offensive, but love telling the truth ?!

I was once lost under the cloak of universal themes and terms such as freedom, change, and acceptance, madness ensues, being readily welcomed by those whose mind’s eye questions nothing.

Yet I’ve come to known that only grey,
you conclude that all greys are the same shade.
You mock the simplicity of the two-colour view,
yet you replace it with a one-colour view.

I am simple, but I am not a clown.
I chose to be simple that I wish the red sun reflecting the eagerness towards life.
Even when it’s setting down,
the last moment still engraved in someone’s heart forever.

Yes, I miss this land –
the ever pure and innocent souls of the people.

June 2019 – Lusaka, Zambia, Africa.

Advertisements

World Vision Trip to Zambia Africa – June 2019

Following my previous post of Curtain Call, I’ve compiled a series of amazing footage to capture the highlights of our trip to Zambia Africa.

A few weeks before our Zambia trip,
I was in Australia.
I saw kids running fearlessly,
with their hearts carefree.

When I landed at the Musosolokwe AP,
I saw kids running wildly,
with their hearts muddied with concerns.
Plates scattered on the ground,
filthy water in their cup,
they live with flies and call them a friend.

Children are the gifts from God,
their childhood should be equally measured by a similar standard.
While going the distance,
I saw the most genuine smile reflected from their heart
– it is called the simplicity of life bring forth true fruit of happiness.

So little they have in hands,
so much they produced from heart.
Indeed, our vision for every child,
life in all its fullness,
our prayer for every heart,
the will to make it so.

Thank you, World Vision,
for being a platform for us to reach out to the underprivileged.
I am so blessed today.

June 2019 – Lusaka, Zambia, Africa.

I can see His heart in everything He’s done;
every part designed in a work of art called love.
If He gladly chose surrender, so will I.

I can see His heart eight billion different ways;
every precious one, a child He died to save.
If He gave His life to love them;
so will I.

Curtain Call

IMG_20190610_170809_mh1560449917474_resized_20190618_125320522

“What’s there to find in a broken heart;
if not assembled pieces of love for a pristine start.

What’s there to see behind the curtain;
only things that you don’t know for certain.”

At the boarding gate at 48, my heart was full of uncertainty.
I looked at my toes and blank in mind:
“I will do it better, for this time …”
I promised myself.

After more than 30 hours of journey, we settled down in a delightful place in Zambia – Urban Bliss Hotel at Kabwe; welcomed by all the lovely faces.
My mind was still clobbering with 3 different time zones within a day, and full of butterflies in my stomach.

Day One, I can’t believe I missed home and wanted to go back right after I’ve landed.

Tossing and turning in bed, I woke up with the pounding in my head.
(ouch, today is gonna be a long day)
Swollen down a paracetamol, I started my day with the most adventurous task which later on I’ve discovered that this need to be repeated daily
Sarong Chitenge* wearing !

IMG-20190609-WA0025_mh1560492658741_resized_20190618_011343955

We hitched up the bumpy rides, towards the Chimwala community reading camp!
The nostalgically smiley little black faces surrounded me have finally embraced me with a sense of belonging. Yes, that’s the African sentiment I’ve tasted so long ago !
And I can’t believe I miss them very much.
Mulibwanji*? they said.

IMG_20190609_122840_mh1560495221031_resized_20190618_012539894

Heading towards one of the households which deeply impacted by the bad water points that bring adverse effects to the well being of the people.
As a cultural practice in Zambia, children wake up early in the morning to help the family with chores which include fetching the water from the well.
After my first attempt at pulling up the bucket from the well, I was secretly whispering in my heart “God, I thank You for everything that You’ve given to me, I am so blessed”.

pt2019_06_18_13_11_56_mh1560834747352_resized_20190618_011239038

We heard the story of Cleo (pseudonym) who fell into the well and traumatized with flashback ever since the incident happened back in last year October, our hearts hovered with grief and anguish towards the people of this land.

We went back to the hotel in darkness (due to short circuit of the electrical supply) and our emotion was very much synchronized with the surrounding – a dim vastness was spreading before our souls!
God is gracious toward the softhearted, under the move of what we have seen in the morning, the trippers decided to raise funds for the built of a borehole / mechanical water pump for Cleo’s community !
By the grace of God, He multiplied our five loaves and two fishes
and made our dream comes true.
Zikomo* they said.

Screenshot_20190617_150629_com.huawei.himovie.overseas_mh1560755852695

Indeed, no one is ever satisfied where he/she is, only the children know what they’re looking for …
I was overwhelmed by seeing Cat C. after years of sponsoring her. In my memory, she was a shy and sad little girl on the first glimpse of her picture.
To my great surprise, I was received by her spontaneous and warm hug on our first met !
That smile, I would never forget.
Every single second that I’ve spent with her, I was mindful that her well being is harmonized with mine.

As much as long conversations, laughter riots, and wild meetups are desirable, there’s still beauty and satisfaction in knowing via a simple gesture that you wish someone well and they wish you back the same – we dance triumphantly to celebrate life with the rhapsody in our hearts !

Screenshot_20190617_150758_com.huawei.himovie.overseas_mr1560834058572_resized_20190618_010117976

Day Five, on the last day of our stay

I can’t believe we were about to leave this place.
Wandering at the hotel front desk and looking around at all the now-familiarised faces, I was reminiscing the first night when I stepped on this ground, I was covered with fears and all the people that I do not know.
However today, new friendship has brewed and I started to miss everyone already!
We stood there, looking at each other, hardly saying anything.
But it was the kind of nothing that meant everything.
Our hugs uttered it all !

IMG-20190612-WA0017_mr1560441071444

Like what Mother Theresa said:
“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today.
Let us begin.”
I brought back the smiles of everyone, full of gratitude in my heart. Noting that this moment is so precious that I would love to treasure every single minutes of today.

If I ever go looking for
my heart’s desire again,
I won’t look any further than my own back yard.
Because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with.
Thank you Jesus, for everything.

MAKEUP_20190617170824_save_mh1560771363589_resized_20190618_125341620

Goodbye, Zambia ! I will see you soon.

June 2019 – Lusaka, Zambia, Africa.

* Please check out my post on the previous trip to Lesotho, Africa back in the year of 2013 here.

Footnotes:

Chitenge – The chitenge(or kitenge) is an African garment similar to the sarong, often worn by women, wrapped around the chest or waist, over the head as a headscarf, or as a baby sling.

Mulibwanji – How are you

Zikomo – Thank you

Letter to Miss Lewis, Oct. 1, 1841

IMG_20190528_100647_806_resized_20190528_100732624
Is not this a true autumn day?
Just the still melancholy that I love
– that makes life and nature harmonise.

The birds are consulting
about their migrations,
the trees are putting on
the hectic or the pallid hues of decay,
and begin to strew the ground,
that one’s very footsteps
may not disturb the repose
of earth and air,
while they give us a scent
that is a perfect anodyne
to the restless spirit.

Delicious autumn!
My very soul is wedded to it,
and if I were a bird
I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns.

May 2019 – Aravina Estate, Perth, Western Australia.

Stay

IMG_20190320_211727_423
You can run away from yourself so often,

and so much,

just because the broken pieces of you cut your feet too deeply if you stay around for too long.

But then what if someone were to come along;

and pick up those pieces for you?

Then you wouldn’t have to run away from yourself anymore.

You could stop running.

If someone sees you as something worth staying with

— maybe you’ll stay with yourself, too.

March 2019 – Starbucks Reserve Roastery, Tokyo, Japan.

Silence speaks

IMG_20190318_153841_mh1553217270798_resized_20190322_101654623
There are all kinds of silences and each of them means a different thing.

There is the silence that comes with morning in a forest,
and this is different from the silence of a sleeping city.

There is silence after a rainstorm,
and before a rainstorm,
and these are not the same.

There is the silence of emptiness,
the silence of fear,
the silence of doubt.

There is a certain silence that can emanate from a lifeless object as from a chair lately used,
or from a piano with old dust upon its keys,
or from anything that has answered to the need of a man,
for pleasure or for work.

This kind of silence can speak.

Its voice may be melancholy,
but it is not always so;
for the chair may have been left by a laughing child or the last notes of the piano may have been raucous and gay.

There is a silence appears like fine flakes at first,
but becoming gradually heavier;
a blue and white dazzling light on everything one sees,
the ice-covered branches of the hemlocks sparkle,
bending low and tinkling in the sharp thin breeze,
and iridescent crystals fall and crackle on the snow-crust
with the winter sun drawing cold blue shadows from the trees

Whatever the mood or the circumstance,
the essence of its quality may linger in the silence that follows.

It is a soundless echo.

March 2019 – 湯沢高原スキー場, Tokyo, Japan.

Eat, Pray, Love

20161124_094237_mh1552452684835_resized_20190313_125351814
The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying;

the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving.

I didn’t want to destroy anything or anybody.

I just wanted to slip quietly out the back door,

without causing any fuss or consequences,

and then not stop running until I reached Greenland.

November 2016 – Zaanse Schans, the Netherlands.

One day

FB_IMG_1551943287765_mh1551943335242.jpg
Every quote,

every book,

every film seemed to suggest that

one day’ someone would

come into her life

and love her with an intensity

and a passion she had never experienced before.

And to their credit they were right;

It all came;

and went so fast;

it really did feel

as if it were just

one day

February 2019 – Sabah, Malaysia

Love strikes away the chains of fear

Capture
We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.

Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.

We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love’s light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free…

March 2018 – Bali, Indonesia

Thanksgiving

FB_IMG_1543759473581_mh1543759926265
It is the time of the year again !

Every year during this season, I would dedicate a post to myself in this place, to reflect and to give thanks for all that have happened in a year.

1. Followers
First and foremost, I would like to thank the 475 lovely souls (at the time of the writing of this post), who are following my ups and downs throughout this year.

Give credit where credit is due – Most of the poems are originated from different authors and I do not own any copyright for articles posted as quotes herein. However, those articles remained heartfelt and reflected the very moment of my emotional state when it was posted. That being said, all words screamed the inner voice that was long for an escape in me. Thank you, for listening to my heart.

“There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you’d better learn the sound of it. Otherwise you’ll never understand what it’s saying.”

2. Career advancement
Another fruitful year in term of career, I am thankful to God for opening every door that shut on my face, and rewarded me abundantly in public for what I’ve been praying fervently in secret. Without Him, I can do nothing !

Whilst it remained a fiery desire in my heart for being ambitious, I have constantly reminded myself the two things that I could bring to the eternity, and career is neither of them ! Meanwhile my feet are landed on the ground, I aim to get a life that means something to myself; or to someone; which is more valuable than career itself – it is call purpose.

“The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.”

3. Health
2018 is an unexpected deterioration in term of health. I have encountered the first time in my life a full anaesthesia performed on me for an unexpected surgery which came out of no where. I believe God is faithful, for all that happened, He will restore 120% !

“Stretch. Inhale. Exhale. Feel. Become. Aware.”

4. Family
Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family. I endeavour to keep myself moving and improving, but behind every good success and achievement, there is one powerful woman of God who keeping me in prayers every single minute. Thank you mum, and I love you.

“The best way to feel family is being part of it.”

5. Friendship and Relationship
Friendship – People who remained, are those that gonna be the friends forever! Thank you everyone for making my life a colourful one! This year, new friendship has brewed, and some of those are very dear to me, whom I wanted so much to carry on as friend.

“Don’t walk in front of me … I may not follow; don’t walk behind me … I may not lead; walk beside me … just be my friend”

Relationship – They say time doesn’t heal emotional pain, you need to learn how to let go. This is indeed the year of learning how to let go of the past. I was once believing that a broken heart could never have the same strength to cradle this thing call love. But God has proven me wrong.

We may be living in a world that being ‘instant’ is the ‘substance’ that moving us towards our heart desires. However, after the crushing and pressing of the grapes, a good wine goes on to the process of fermentation, clarification, and aging – which required time. This is what it’s all about. The past that I have let go, I would never want to pick it up again. However, I have learned to allow myself to be fragile; putting down the fences of guarding my heart; it is when I conceded to be vulnerable, I found the strength to love again. All I need, is the fortitude of valor to begin this journey.

“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it…”

6. Travel
From time to time, I would allow myself to have a solitude of moment with the greatest High. That is when I renewed my visions and dreams. I’ve spent a fair amount of time travelling the globe in this year only to found that slowly but steadily, I could enjoy the ‘restful’ moment without checking my work phone intermittently . It is vital, to have this selah every now and then. I have learned throughout my travel moment, listen to the ‘still small voice’ which guiding my path everyday. It is not about marking another territory where I setting my foot on, it is about another journey that He stays beside me – so faithfully. Indeed, I nearer than I was yesterday and further than I am today.

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

7. River that flows
Last but definitely not least, this whole post will rendered meaningless without giving thanks to my God, who are the River that flows in my life for every season. I aim to go with the flow, the relentless twists and bends, acclimating to the motion, and a sense of being led by Him. I am hoping that in 2019, it will be a year of breakthrough for me, in all area.
_________________________
In the ever-shifting water of the river of this life – I was swimming, seeking comfort; I was wrestling waves to find a boulder I could cling to, a stone to hold me fast, where I might let the fretful water of this river round me pass.

And so I found an anchor, a blessed resting place, a trusty rock I called my Savior,
for there I would be safe.

From the river and its dangers,
and I proclaimed my rock divine,
and I prayed to it “protect me”

and the rock replied:

God is a river, not just a stone;
God is a wild, raging rapids;
And a slow, meandering flow;
God is a deep and narrow passage;
And a peaceful, sandy shoal;
God is the river, swimmer,
So let go …
_________________________

One thing I need, to end this year and entering the new – Courage.

So Will I

IMG_20181101_210855_761
God of Your promise
You don’t speak in vain
No syllable empty or void
For once You have spoken
All nature and science
Follow the sound of Your voice

And as You speak
A hundred billion creatures catch Your breath
Evolving in pursuit of what You said
If it all reveals Your nature so will I

I can see Your heart in everything You say
Every painted sky
A canvas of Your grace
If creation still obeys You so will I
So will I …

2018 – Borneo, Malaysia.

Return from Rainbow Bridge

IMG_20181018_211435_811
Have you ever walked along a beach?
You walk towards something in the distance.
For the longest while it never seems to get any closer even though you are walking and walking.

Then all of a sudden, you are there.
You’ve arrived at last.
That’s what grief is like.

Meanwhile we are running with you in the spray of the surf at the edge of the shore where the sand meets the sea.
We are cheering you on.

March 2014 – Bali, Indonesia.

Oksana Rus

IMG_20180930_212059_071
Tipani flower skies blazing rapture of color laced tree crowns silhouettes along the ocean diamond necklaced beach…
of my heart in fragrance of love spilled by caressing kisses of the sun opening the gates to dive deep through away to horizons with no return…”

Silhouette
/sɪlʊˈɛt/

noun: silhouette; plural noun: silhouettes

1. the dark shape and outline of someone or something visible in restricted light against a brighter background.

March 2014 – Bali, Indonesia.

PS. You have to be brave

FB_IMG_1536883178385_mr1538355877081
You don’t fall in love like you fall in a hole.
You fall like falling through space.

It’s like you jump off your own private planet to visit someone else’s planet. And when you get there it all looks different: the flowers, the animals, the colours people wear.

It is a big surprise falling in love because you thought you had everything just right on your own planet, and that was true, in a way, but then somebody signaled to you across space and the only way you could visit was to take a giant jump…

And you can bring your friends to visit.
And read your favorite stories to each other.
And the falling was really the big jump that you had to make to be with someone you don’t want to be without.

That’s it.

March 2014 – Bali, Indonesia.

Remembrance Year – the long way

FB_IMG_1537426987779_mh1537968762646
Remember how we forgot?

Once upon a time, we were young
Our dreams hung like apples
Waiting to be picked and peeled

And hope was something needing
to be reeled-in
So we can fill the always empty big fish bin with the one that got away
And proudly say that “this time, impossible is not an option”

Because success is so akin to effort and opportunity they could be related
So we took ‘Chances’
We figure skated on thin ice
Believed that each slice of life was served with something sweet
on the side

And failure was never nearly as important as the fact that we tried
That in the war against frailty
and limitation
We supplied the determination it takes to make ideas and goals the parents of ‘Possibility’

And we believe ourselves to be members of this family
Not just one branch on one tree
But a forest whose roots make up a dynasty …

December 2015 – Death Valley, Eastern California, USA.

A Map of the Known World

IMG_20180915_211320_398

They say no land remains to be discovered,
no continent is left unexplored.
But the whole world is out there, waiting, just waiting for me.

I want to do things
— I want to walk the rain-soaked streets of London, and drink mint tea in Casablanca.
I want to wander the wastelands of the Gobi desert and see a yak.
I think my life’s ambition is to see a yak.

I want to bargain for trinkets in an Arab market in some distant, dusty land. There’s so much.
But, most of all,
I want to do things that will mean something.

March 2014 – Bali, Indonesia.

Take courage

IMG_20180308_163334_434
Slow down, take time
Breath in
He said
He’d reveal what’s to come
The thoughts in His mind
Always higher than mine
He’ll reveal all to come

Take courage my heart
Stay steadfast my soul
He’s in the waiting;
Hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He’s never failing;

Sing praise my soul
Find strength in joy
Let His Words lead you on
Do not forget His great faithfulness
He’ll finish all He’s begun …

March 2018 – Tokyo, Japan.

West with the Night

IMG20180902184802_mr1535896088511
We swung over the hills and over the town and back again,
and I saw how a man can be master of a craft, and how a craft can be master of an element.

I saw the alchemy of perspective reduce my world, and all my other life,
to grains in a cup.

I learned to watch, to put my trust in other hands than mine.
And I learned to wander.
I learned what every dreaming child needs to know — that no horizon is so far that you cannot get above it or beyond it.

September 2018 – Up above the 36,000 ft.

Sara Teasdale

IMG_20180819_200049_050

I thought of you and how you love this beauty, and walking up the long beach all alone.

I heard the waves breaking in measured thunder, as you and I once heard their monotone.

Around me were the echoing dunes, beyond me the cold and sparkling silver of the sea —

We two will pass through death and ages lengthen, before you hear that sound again with me.

August 2018 – Brighton, Victoria, Australia.

Ursula K. Le Guin

20161124_094434_mh1532665294496
There was a wall.
It did not look important.
It was built of uncut rocks roughly mortared.
An adult could look right over it,
and even a child could climb it.

Where it crossed the roadway,
instead of having a gate it degenerated
into mere geometry,
a line, an idea of boundary.

But the idea was real.
It was important.
For seven generations there had been nothing in the world more important than that wall.

Like all walls it was ambiguous, two-faced.
What was inside it and what was outside it depended upon which side of it you were on.

November 2016 – Zaanse Schans, the Netherlands.

The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration

Screenshot_2018-05-09-07-06-42-07_mh1525821025394.jpg
The sand in the hourglass runs from one compartment to the other, marking the passage of moments with something constant and tangible.

If you watch the flowing sand, you might see time itself riding the granules.

Contrary to popular opinion, time is not an old white-haired man, but a laughing child.

And time sings.

May 2018 – Sabah, Malaysia.

The Spice Box of Earth

goMeihuaTemp_mh1501130507049.jpg

A kite is a victim you are sure of.
You love it because it pulls
gentle enough to call you master,
strong enough to call you fool;

because it lives
like a desperate trained falcon
in the high sweet air,
and you can always haul it down
to tame it in your drawer.

A kite is a fish you have already caught
in a pool where no fish come,
so you play him carefully and long,
and hope he won’t give up,
or the wind die down.

A kite is the last poem you’ve written
so you give it to the wind,
but you don’t let it go
until someone finds you
something else to do.

Leonard Cohen.

July 2017 – Sabah, Malaysia.

goMeihuaTemp_mh1501130443057_mr1501130846632.jpg

Nescio – Amsterdam Stories

screenshot_20161205-161647_mh1480925842896

“It was in December.
I stood in the back of the tram, all the way in the back.
It drove through the country and stopped and started again, it took hours, the countryside was endless.

And the sky got bluer and bluer and the sun shone until it seemed like flowers would have to start sprouting out of the country bumpkins.
And the red roofs in the villages and the black trees and the fields, most of them covered with straw, had it nice and warm, and the dunes sat bareheaded in the sun.

And the road lay there, white and smarting, it couldn’t bear the sunlight, and the glass panes of the village streetlamp flashed, they had trouble withstanding the glare too.

But I got colder and colder.
And the tram ran as long as the sun shone.
It’s a long ride from Hillegom to Leiden and the days are short in December.
By the end, a block of ice was standing there on the tram staring into the big stupid cold sun that was flaming red as though the revolution was finally starting, as though offices were being blown up all over Amsterdam, but still it couldn’t bring a spark of life back to my cold feet and stiff legs.

And it kept getting bigger and colder, the sun, and I got colder and stayed the same size, and the blue sky looked down very disapprovingly:
“What are you doing on that tram?”

November 2016 – Amsterdam, the Netherlands.

Sol Luckman, Beginner’s Luke

IMG_20160215_194623
Such is life, imaginary or otherwise:
a continuous parting of ways,
a constant flux of approximation and distanciation,
lines of fate intersecting at a point which is no-time,
a theoretical crossroads fictitiously ‘present,’

an unstable ice floe forever drifting between was and will be.

December 2015 – Napa Valley, California.

Temptation

img1451198525961
Did perpetual happiness in the Garden of Eden maybe get so boring that eating the apple was justified?! There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.

As I was looking back the colours behind me, I wonder is the future that excite me or the past simply attracted me back to the initial temptation.

Both equally destructive – in nature.

December 2015 – San Francisco, California.

Solivagant

D5
Solivagant
adjective \”\

Definition of SOLIVAGANT
: rambling alone : marked by solitary wandering

Origin of SOLIVAGANT
Latin solivagus + English -ant

Solivagants are the kind of people you see on the side of the road, slugging along without a backpack or their thumb in the air. If you see one, don’t be scared: they don’t bite. Just throw them a smile or a Clif bar and let them go on their way.

I, is a solivagant soul wandering around the Republic of Great Han, on the May of 2015.

May 2015 – Seoul, South Korea.

Sonder

FB_IMG_1445405486431_mh1445405623155
Sonder is the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries, and inherited craziness

—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed,
in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

May 2015 – Seoul, South Korea.

Hardwell & Dyro & Bright Lights

lesotho
“You’ll never fly,
if you’re too scared of the height,

You’ll never live
if you’re just too scared to die,

Everybody wants heaven, I know
But darling freedom ain’t free,
it’s a long road

You’ll never find your place up there in the sky
If you never say goodbye.”

October 2013 – Kingdom of Lesotho, Maseru, South Africa.

Beach therapy

IMAG5506_副本
It was an ordinary day when I was lying on the beach,
doing nothing for hours, listening to the sound of wave hitting the shore.

I saw a little girl chasing the flying kite – unrestrained.

Too many times our hands grabbing something so tight;
or we have been keeping ourselves in a corner for too long;
or even holding someone for ages;
not knowing that the moment of letting go become so easy when we decided to just look up and trust that the upper force is the ultimate resources of freedom.

I looked at my closed fists for what holding me back,
and realised that it was not an ordinary day after all.

Beach therapy is really works.

June 2015 – Bali, Indonesia.

Rilke’s Book of Hours

rike
I am too alone in the world, and yet not alone enough
to make every moment holy.

I am too tiny in this world,
and not tiny enough just to lie before you like a thing,
shrewd and secretive.

I want my own will,
and I want simply to be with my will,
as it goes toward action;
and in those quiet, sometimes hardly moving times,
when something is coming near,
I want to be with those who know secret things
or else alone.

I want to be a mirror for your whole body,
and I never want to be blind, or to be too old
to hold up your heavy and swaying picture.

I want to unfold.
I don’t want to stay folded anywhere,
because where I am folded, there I am a lie.
and I want my grasp of things to be
true before you.

I want to describe myself
like a painting that I looked at
closely for a long time,
like a saying that I finally understood,
like the pitcher I use every day,
like the face of my mother,
like a ship that carried me
through the wildest storm of all.

November 2014 – Florence, Italy.

Water for Elephants

old
“… a gaggle of old ladies is glued to the window at the end of the hall like children or jailbirds.
They’re spidery and frail, their hair as fine as mist.
Most of them are a good decade younger than me, and this astounds me.

Even as your body betrays you, your mind denies it.
There are five of them now, white headed old things huddled together and pointing crooked fingers at the glass.”

As for me, growing old together is the best feeling.
And there’s beauty in the crown of glory.

May 2015 – Seoul, South Korea.

Broken Harbour

perth
The smell of the sea swept over the wall and in through the empty window-hole,
wide and wild with a million intoxicating secrets.
I don’t trust that smell.

It hooks us somewhere deeper than reason or civilization,
in the fragments of our cells that rocked in oceans before we had minds,
and it pulls till we follow mindlessly as rutting animals….

It lures us to leap off high cliffs,
fling ourselves on towering waves,
leaves behind everyone we love and face into thousands of miles of open water for the sake of what might be on the far shore.

February 2015 – Perth, Australia.