Silence speaks

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There are all kinds of silences and each of them means a different thing.

There is the silence that comes with morning in a forest,
and this is different from the silence of a sleeping city.

There is silence after a rainstorm,
and before a rainstorm,
and these are not the same.

There is the silence of emptiness,
the silence of fear,
the silence of doubt.

There is a certain silence that can emanate from a lifeless object as from a chair lately used,
or from a piano with old dust upon its keys,
or from anything that has answered to the need of a man,
for pleasure or for work.

This kind of silence can speak.

Its voice may be melancholy,
but it is not always so;
for the chair may have been left by a laughing child or the last notes of the piano may have been raucous and gay.

There is a silence appears like fine flakes at first,
but becoming gradually heavier;
a blue and white dazzling light on everything one sees,
the ice-covered branches of the hemlocks sparkle,
bending low and tinkling in the sharp thin breeze,
and iridescent crystals fall and crackle on the snow-crust
with the winter sun drawing cold blue shadows from the trees

Whatever the mood or the circumstance,
the essence of its quality may linger in the silence that follows.

It is a soundless echo.

March 2019 – 湯沢高原スキー場, Tokyo, Japan.

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One day

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Every quote,

every book,

every film seemed to suggest that

one day’ someone would

come into her life

and love her with an intensity

and a passion she had never experienced before.

And to their credit they were right;

It all came;

and went so fast;

it really did feel

as if it were just

one day

February 2019 – Sabah, Malaysia

Love strikes away the chains of fear

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We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.

Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.

We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love’s light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free…

March 2018 – Bali, Indonesia

Night sea journey


It is the night sea journey,
the lone fisherman on a tropical sea with his nets, and let these nets down
– sometimes, something tears through them that leaves them in shreds and he just rows for shore, and put his head under his bed and pray.

Scars are but evidence of life.
Evidence of choices to be learned from…
evidence of wounds…
wounds inflicted of mistakes…
wounds they choose
to allow the healing of.

They likewise choose to see them,
that they may not make the same mistakes again.

She turns around and saw him right underneath the shadow of his own,
like a mirror reflected herself.
With the whole universe in his mind
he’s looking afar.
In the midst of the ruin, she tries to embrace the chaotic beauty of his world.
It was then, he has become …
her greatest asset.

Yes, she chooses to stay,
only if he’s willing.

Hymn to a Good Wife


Finish my book of Proverbs on the last day of the new month.
This last passage has become my goal.
Wisdom gets you everywhere !

Hymn to a Good Wife

A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long.

She shops around for the
best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She’s like a trading ship
that sails to faraway places
and brings back exotic surprises.

She’s up before dawn,
preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.

First thing in the morning,
she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking.

She’s quick to assist anyone in need,
reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.

Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them, brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.

When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,and keeps them all busy and productive.

Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise: “Many women have done wonderful things,but you’ve outclassed them all!”

Charm can mislead
and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.

Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!

Proverbs 31:10-31

Mouthful of Forevers


There will always be those
who say you are too young and delicate
to make anything happen for yourself.

They don’t see the part of you
that smolders.
Don’t let their doubting drown out
the sound of your own heartbeat.

You are the first drop of rain in a hurricane.

Your bravery builds beyond you.
You are needed by all the little girls
still living in secret,
writing oceans made of monsters,
and throwing like lightning.

You don’t need to grow up
to find greatness.
You are so much stronger
than the world
has ever believed you could be.

The world is waiting for you
to set it on fire.

Trust in yourself;

and burn.

In the beginning

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… of 2019, I woke up with this view from my balcony;

It’s the shine that waken me up from my sick bed.

I love sky,

I believe every beautiful thing comes from above.

On the last service of the year,

He promised that this will be my year.

Looking at the beautiful canvas He painted above,

Isn’t that He still keeping His promises?

Would you, believe with me?

January 2019 – Singapore

Is He Worthy?

Do you feel the world is broken?
Do you feel the shadows deepen?
But do you know that all the dark won’t stop the light from getting through?
Do you wish that you could see it all made new?

Is anyone worthy? Is anyone whole?
Is anyone able to break the seal and open the scroll?
The Lion of Judah who conquered the grave
He is David’s root and the Lamb who died to ransom the slave …

– Andrew Peterson

Take courage

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Slow down, take time
Breath in
He said
He’d reveal what’s to come
The thoughts in His mind
Always higher than mine
He’ll reveal all to come

Take courage my heart
Stay steadfast my soul
He’s in the waiting;
Hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He’s never failing;

Sing praise my soul
Find strength in joy
Let His Words lead you on
Do not forget His great faithfulness
He’ll finish all He’s begun …

March 2018 – Tokyo, Japan.

You Speak

You liberate me from my own noise and my own chaos
From the chains of a lesser law You set me free

In the silence of the heart You speak
And it is there that I will know You
And You will know me

In the silence of the heart
You speak, You speak

You satisfy me till I am quiet and confident
In the work of the Spirit I cannot see

In the silence of the heart You speak

Nicole Bailey-Williams

I was a dandelion puff…

Some saw the beauty in me and stooped quietly to admire my innocence.

Others saw the potential of what I could do for them,
so they uprooted me, seeking to shape me around their needs.
They blew at my head, scattering my hair from the roots,
changing me to suit them.

Yet still others saw me as something that was unworthy and needed to be erased.

Flower Dance

Lucy:“They serve the purpose of changing hydrogen into breathable oxygen,and they’re as necessary here as the air is, on Earth.”

Ray:“But I still say……they’re flowers.”

Lucy:“If you like.”

Ray:“Do you sell them?”

Lucy:“I’m afraid not.”

Ray:“But, maybe we can make a deal.”

Lucy:“What do you mean?”

Ray:“Oh, you see, you won’t have to send them anywhere. I’ll pay for them, and then, I’ll leave them here, for you.”

The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration

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The sand in the hourglass runs from one compartment to the other, marking the passage of moments with something constant and tangible.

If you watch the flowing sand, you might see time itself riding the granules.

Contrary to popular opinion, time is not an old white-haired man, but a laughing child.

And time sings.

May 2018 – Sabah, Malaysia.

Peace, I leave with you …

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Another round of self battle left me with the swollen eyes and pounding head.
Indeed, the words came beforehand so that my heart could sustained ….

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
John 14:27

Who can accept us wholeheartedly?! – only Jesus does.

The Spice Box of Earth

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A kite is a victim you are sure of.
You love it because it pulls
gentle enough to call you master,
strong enough to call you fool;

because it lives
like a desperate trained falcon
in the high sweet air,
and you can always haul it down
to tame it in your drawer.

A kite is a fish you have already caught
in a pool where no fish come,
so you play him carefully and long,
and hope he won’t give up,
or the wind die down.

A kite is the last poem you’ve written
so you give it to the wind,
but you don’t let it go
until someone finds you
something else to do.

Leonard Cohen.

July 2017 – Sabah, Malaysia.

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Road to Machu Picchu

Beautiful land;
Beautiful people.

Peru is a dream;
beneath the clear blue sky veiled the most untainted people;
with the very little on their hands breed the greatest smile I ever seen.

At this moment, I recalled what He said:

“Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them;
Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.”

Charlotte Eriksson

paris cafe
6 months, 2 weeks, 4 days,
and I still don’t know which month it was then
or what day it is now.
Blurred out lines from hangovers to coffee
Another vagabond
lost to love.

4am alone and on my way.
These are my finest moments.
I scrub my skin to rid me from you
and I still don’t know why I cried.

It was just something in the way you took my heart
and rearranged my insides
and I couldn’t recognise the emptiness you left me with when you were done.

Maybe you thought my insides would fit better this way,
look better this way,
to you and us and all the rest.
But then you must have changed your mind or made a wrong
because why did you leave?

6 months, 2 weeks, 4 days,
and I still don’t know which month it was then
or what day it is now.
I replace cafés with crowded bars
and empty roads with broken bottles
and this town is healing me slowly
but still not slow or fast enough
because there’s no right way to do this.
There is no right way to do this.

You are the watchman of your life

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“What do you see?”
I shared yesterday about what I heard, and here’s a confirmation right after my previous post.

For thus has the Lord said to me: “Go, set a watchman, let him declare what he sees.”
– Isaiah 21:6

Today’s text says, “. . . set a watchman and let him declare what he sees”.
We need to be that watchman in our life.
In days of old the watchman would be positioned on the walls, or in a tower of the city, to look and see what was coming in the distance.
That’s what God wants us to do in our life and the life of others – He wants us to be looking and listening at what is coming.
Not with our natural eyes and ears, but our spiritual ones, the ones that came alive again at new birth.

The truth is we won’t ever fully see what God has for us with our eyes open – we will only see these things with our eyes closed.
It is when we are reading His word and spending time with Him in prayer that we see the things He has planned for us.
We are the watchman of our life. It’s not our Pastor’s job – it’s ours!

If we’re not seeing much that excites us, the trouble has probably been that we have been looking at the horizon,
or what seems to be happening next with our life, with mere natural eyes.
With our eyes open all we see is this present reality and very real circumstance.
But, with our eyes closed, God enables us to see what we have not yet experienced or not yet seen;
He reveals to us the plans He has for us.
If He is the author of the image of what we see when our eyes are closed and heart is focused on Him,
then He will be the finisher that makes it a reality in our life.

C. JoyBell C.

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“I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going.
And I have trained myself to love it.
Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight,
that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight.

And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to.
But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings.
You may not know where you’re going,
but you know that so long as you spread your wings,
the winds will carry you.”

Jackie Evancho – To Believe

Before I lay me down to rest
I ask the Lord one small request
I know I have all I could need
But this prayer is not for me

Too many people on this day
Don’t have a peaceful place to stay
Let all fighting cease that your children may see peace
Wipe their tears of sorrow away

To believe in a day
When hunger and war will pass away
To have the hope amidst despair
That every sparrow’s counted
That you hear each cry and listen to each prayer

Let me try always to believe
That we can hear the hearts that grieve
Please help us not ignore
The anguished cries of the poor
Or their pain will never leave

Help us do Your will oh Father
In the name of all that’s true
And we’ll see in one another
The loving image of You

Reflection – World Vision Lesotho Trip 2013

Mother Teresa once said: “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.

b6So, after a month, finally I settled down my emotion and ready to post a journal of my trip to Lesotho, where its capital and largest city is Maseru.

By way of background, I started my child sponsorship with World Vision in the year of 2010. And this was my first trip and never could it be the last.

b1I did not given a long time to consider for this trip, neither did I have enough of capacity to plan and arrange for it.
This was indeed the most impulsive and spontaneous decision I’ve made.

Did I regretted? I did not, definitely!
I do believe that God has His own plan of making things happened suddenly for a cause.

b2Why did I quoted Mother Teresa’s?
Simply because this whole journey started off with a simple yet unbearable word — “Love“.

To begin with a sponsorship of a monthly donation cost probably one of my meal is never a difficult thing for me especially when I stepped into the society and have my own purchasing power.

However, looking back of what was holding me to consider for so long is another simple yet unbearable word – “Commitment

b3“Break my heart for what breaks Yours,
Everything I am for Your kingdom’s cause,
As I walk from earth into eternity …”

Almost four years ago, I decided to build my calling on the foundation of these phrases.
“Africa”. Is a word from Him.

I still remember vividly that the day I stood before the altar, with my eyes-brimmed, all of the African kids flashed through my mind.

That night, I couldn’t sleep … until I got a word from Him
— “Feed my people!”

b7Lesotho.

We welcomed by a sunny sky with breeze gently touching us.
And we’ve been told that it wasn’t rain for nearly seven months .
The moment I landed my feet on this foreign place, I couldn’t help but goose bump and wondering what was the force that brought me all the way here.

Looking at all the African World Vision staffs, their friendly smile indeed warmed and chased away the butterflies in my tummy.
From day one onwards, I’ve been overwhelmed by all new experiences that I’ve never encountered before.

b5Projects (ADP – Area Development Programme).

It is always convincing when all the seeds you sowed came alive before your own eyes.
After more than 3 years of sponsorship, this was the first time I got to see what effort we have made.

Together, we are strong!

For all the projects, be it completed or on-going, I am glad to know that it does help the communities and making their lives better.
I couldn’t be more grateful to God for pampering my life after hearing all the stories and the difficulties of theirs living a life out there.
This making me even more convicted that I should make this journey my forever calling.

b8
I got my kid holding a picture of himself thrown back to 3 years ago when the sponsorship started.

Sponsorship.

Without meeting up my child, this whole journey could be meaningless.

After correspondences through letters for the past three years, finally I met my child.
I can’t forget the little shy on his face when he grinned during our first met.
To me personally, this moment is so promising.
He is indeed the fruit of my obedience.
In return of what I’ve done in his life, he has no idea what he has contributed to mine as well.

We had a little chat with slight communication barriers, and I am grateful to know that he’s indeed a bright boy at school.
That moment, I believe each of my prayers is answered.

Victor Hugo is right – “You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.”
The great acts of love are done by those who are habitually performing small acts of kindness. This whole journey couldn’t be completed without showing some acts of kindness.

I enjoyed every moment when we hit to the groceries to look out for goodies to be distributed. And also the moment I saw the happy faces when I handed out the goodies to my child and his family, then I realised how little action I did can made such a great impact in their lives.

I would not see my visitation as a final one, and I would really love to see our paths will cross again in the not so distant future.

b4 Some point in our life, we need to keep the momentum going.

A week before I head to the trip, I start to realised that too much in my life has been drained.
But the oxymoron of life is this, you start to regain after you gave out so much.
I came back with a heart full of contentment and truly convinced that love grows by giving.

The only way to retain love, is to give it away…..

Did I just say it is funny?!

A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.

“Oh dear, what’s the bad news?” asks the patient.

The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”

“That’s terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”

The doctor replies, “I’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday.”
.

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.
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Funny?!
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well, okay !!

Norah Jones – Don’t Know Why

I waited till I saw the sign
I don’t know why I didn’t come
I left you by the house of fun
I don’t know why I didn’t come
I don’t know why I didn’t come

When I saw the break of day
I wished that I could fly a way
‘Stead of kneeling in the sand
Catching teardrops in my hand

My heart is drenched in wine
But you’ll be on my mind forever

Out across the endless sea
I will die in ecstasy
But I’ll be a bag of bones
Driving down the road alone

My heart is drenched in wine
But you’ll be on my mind forever

Something has to make you run
I don’t know why I didn’t come
My field is empty as a drum
I don’t know why I didn’t come
I don’t know why I didn’t come
I don’t know why I didn’t come

Neil Gaiman

“She seems so cool, so focused, so quiet, yet her eyes remain fixed upon the horizon.
You think you know all there is to know about her immediately upon meeting her,
but everything you think you know is wrong.
Passion flows through her like a river of blood.
She only looked away for a moment, and the mask slipped, and you fell.
All your tomorrows start here.”

Ecclesiastes 3

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born,
And a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;

A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;

A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
And a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;

A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;

A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time of war,
And a time of peace.

Collector

If one day you find yourself in yet another cluttered little shop,
turning over a saucer to study the maker’s mark,
running a finger around the rim to check for nicks,
holding a cup to the light to detect repairs,
you’ll know it for sure: You’ve become a collector.

Happiness?!

Happiness is not to be achieved at the command of emotional whims.
Happiness is not the satisfaction of whatever irrational wishes you might blindly attempt to indulge.
Happiness is a state of non-contradictory joy—a joy without penalty or guilt,
a joy that does not clash with any of your values and does not work for your own destruction,
not the joy of escaping from your mind, but of using your mind’s fullest power,
not the joy of faking reality, but of achieving values that are real,
not the joy of a drunkard, but of a producer.
Happiness is possible only to a rational man, the man who desires nothing but rational goals,
seeks nothing but rational values and finds his joy in nothing but rational actions.

(alright, this is just like a tight slap to my previous post)